My Little princess

My Little princess is 2 months old, can't believe it.
She's brought us so much joy.
The days goes so fast though, keeping this blog is now secondary, I wil try and see if I can keep it.
Thanks all for your prayers and support

A Good Wait!

Well Folks,

This is the time I get to share the good new, we are expecting our own little B.
So excited.

Thanks for all your prayers and support.

It has been a hard road, which was a reason I was not able to post any updates.

So here it is.

God does answer prayers.

Thanks

The other day I rambled on and on.
Thanks to all those who left comments of encouragements, they meant a lot.

Mother's day went without any event. I hate receiving cards or calls of encouragement. In a way I was dreading the day because I knew my friends and family will call or text a happy mother's day message. I was secretly hoping they won't remember me. I know they mean well but really I don't mind not getting a greeting, I hate being patronised for anyone to thinking I am at home sulking, cause I wasn't.
I was fine on the day really, happy and relaxed. Church was great, we had a special programme and it was really nice to be around so many women of faith.

And as I wished, I received only 3 text messages, from people who really mean a lot to me, trying friends too.
I felt bad that I didn't think to send them text on the day. Here I was thinking only of myself and forgetting other's who would have loved a call of encouragement. I repented and asked God to grant all those waiting their heart's desire by next mother's day.
My God daughter, (bless her) called me at 7.00 am to wish me happy mother's day. I was still sleeping but her message was so sweet. At 5 years of age I am not sure she understood what she was wishing me, but it meant the world to me.

To all those who didn't have a son or daughter of their own to wish them happy Mother's day.
I pray that the good Lord will grant you your heart's desires to be mums and to have your own little burden of Joy by this time Next year.

Happy belated Mother's Day.

Rina

Being Grateful

Being thankful can be difficult especially when we look at the cup that is half empty.
Its so easy to focus on the what might have beings, than on what was and what actually is right now.

Being grateful doesn't come easy, especially during the most trying and difficult times of our lives, because our focus is on our situation and to be honest even when we give God thanks in the mist of it all, it is with a heavy heart, and sometimes not to appear ungrateful, kind of out of duty and not out of a heart that is truly grateful in spite of the odds!


So in the spirit of thanksgiving!

I am truly grateful in the mist of it all,
despite the odds, amidst the tears and the disappointments, in spite of the pain,
Lord I am grateful,
Grateful for the life you've given us,
Grateful for health, job, family and friends
We am not improvised,
nor destitute
for food, clothing and shelter.
You've blessed us beyond our wildest dreams and for this
We are grateful.

God's Faithfulness

He's been faithful to me,
When my heart felt faint
'cos the wait felt long
He's remain faithful

He's been faithful to me
When the tears just won't stop
and the rain fell quick in torrential pour

He's been faithful to me
When in doubt I felt still
and my knees just won't bend

He's been faithful to me
Through out the years and in spite of my fears,
Through the changing gears of life
He's remain faithful to me.

Rina

Is It Ok to Ask Why?

I wonder, is it ok to ask God questions? Questions about our situations? Is it a sin to ask why?

Right now I feel like asking alot of questions.
Just like Job who echoed, shall we recieve good only and not evil? Shall we recieve evil only and not good I say?

I am just so full of emotions right now I need to spill this out. Just learnt that my brother-in-law and his wife are expecting their first child! You see she is going to be 41 this year, they've only been married 6 months and she is 3 months pregnant.
If my second pregnancy had progressed normally, I would have been one week ahead of her.
On hearing the news, I fell apart, I was happy for them but this was a reminder of my recent loss.
I sat lost for word, tears started falling down my face, for the first time since the last misscarriage I carried tears of loss.

And I wondered why me God, why? So many thoughts crossed my mind, I should have been sharing my news, we would have been on maternity leave together, do things together, what is wrong with me Lord? One minute I couldn't get pregnant, now I get pregnant and can't keep the babies, Lord, these people don't know you. They don't fast and pray for a baby, they don't haven your word to stand on, yet it came so easily for them, why not me Lord?

I am so glad my brother-in-law told my hubby over the phone, that saved me the energy of having to go throught the motions.

Why did it hurt so bad? I am happy for them of course, but it just made my own situation so real. I can imagine the whole family members sending their congratulations and wandering about us?

My colleague at work is expecting too and we would have been due almost the same time had the first pregnany stayed, now this! it seems that everyone is sharing their good news but me. She is going on maternity leave this week, yesterday was my due date for the last pregnancy. Just when I was getting over it I learnt of this news.

Sometimes it appears that God wants me to be pregnant alone, all my friends have had children and some have finished.
I still love God, and believe his word for us will be fulfilled, but its just not knowing when and having to deal with other people's news. I feel like hiding away and doing my thing, just leaving one day at a time.

Well I just have to run to him and cry to him as my father he knows best. I believe this is my test and when he has tried me I shall come forth as pure gold.