Thanks

The other day I rambled on and on.
Thanks to all those who left comments of encouragements, they meant a lot.

Mother's day went without any event. I hate receiving cards or calls of encouragement. In a way I was dreading the day because I knew my friends and family will call or text a happy mother's day message. I was secretly hoping they won't remember me. I know they mean well but really I don't mind not getting a greeting, I hate being patronised for anyone to thinking I am at home sulking, cause I wasn't.
I was fine on the day really, happy and relaxed. Church was great, we had a special programme and it was really nice to be around so many women of faith.

And as I wished, I received only 3 text messages, from people who really mean a lot to me, trying friends too.
I felt bad that I didn't think to send them text on the day. Here I was thinking only of myself and forgetting other's who would have loved a call of encouragement. I repented and asked God to grant all those waiting their heart's desire by next mother's day.
My God daughter, (bless her) called me at 7.00 am to wish me happy mother's day. I was still sleeping but her message was so sweet. At 5 years of age I am not sure she understood what she was wishing me, but it meant the world to me.

To all those who didn't have a son or daughter of their own to wish them happy Mother's day.
I pray that the good Lord will grant you your heart's desires to be mums and to have your own little burden of Joy by this time Next year.

Happy belated Mother's Day.

Rina

Still Waiting

My emotions were sky high during my last flow. I felt like this year is progressing so quickly with no sign of me being pregnant. I have been praying more along this line and specifically asking God to make me pregnant again soon.

Sometimes I wonder it this is the right way to pray. I've tried all forms of praying and believing and just wonder what the problem is. I'll like to try another IVF but finances are limited. I know deep down that God will do it, but it's a question of when.

My flows are getting better and are more regular than they've been for years. I am positive that God will hear and answer, but when Lord?
My husband, bless him has been encouraging saying we should just enjoy our lives without kids, that he won't love me any less, that is not the point, I just want God's word to be fulfilled in our home.

I have so many things I want to do with our kids, I want to stay at home and bake, cook and clean, I want to run around in the garden with then.
I want to go for long walks with my baby in the pram and wave at other mums.
I want to take time off work and just enjoy being a mum.
I will love every moment of motherhood I promise,
I will welcome the sleepless nights, the endless cries, and whatever else comes with being a mum, but until then, Lord, I am still waiting.

Today the 12 April brings back memories of this post written on the 6 March 2010.

Today I am a mum of 2 young girls.
Today, I have  enjoyed all of the things I wanted to do as mum 6 years ago.
I run around the garden with my two girls.
I bake with them,
I did go for long walks on with my baby and wave at other mums
I took over 2 years off work to be a mum and enjoyed every minute of that
I had lots of sleepless nights and didn't complain.

Today I am no longer waiting.

Your story may still be one of waiting, but tomorrow your story may change.
Your captivity may turn to your
Your day of motherhood will come
Till then
Wait, in joy, abound in hope, be still.

Maybe This Year

Maybe it will be me,
waddling around with a burden,
joyously trotting on,

maybe it will be me with a secret grin
as I await the extension of my protruding bump
excited about the outcome of what will be


Maybe it will be me,
in and out of all the shops
Invading them for little wares of blues or pink
and maybe both

Maybe it will be me
tirelessly waiting and counting the days
till my due date
to the arrival of our much awaited own burden of Joy

may be it will be me
packing up my bag for the trip to the birthing unit,
patiently and eagerly counting down the time

Maybe it will be me,
Writing out that birth announcement,
to friends and family of the arrival of baby Dion

Maybe it will be me, happily staying awake, nursing Dion,
and loving every minute

or maybe it will be me,
with dripping bibs and unkempt house,
not ashamed to smile amidst it all,
thankful for the cause of the mayhem,

So this year, Lord, maybe it will be me with that stick,
looking for that +ve sign,
that first heartbeat,
the second, the last scan
and finally the sweet sound from baby Dion as we welcome him/her to our beautiful world.

Maybe, maybe it will be us Lord! I want it to be us; we want it to be us.
We believe, we hope, we pray.
So Maybe, Just Maybe 2010 will be the year of possibilities.

A relief

After coming back from my Christmas holiday, I feel relaxed and relief that my period didn't come this month while on holiday. It was a hectic time away, the climbing and walking and hiking did us good. Now we are ready for all God has in store for us in 2010.

Happy New Year.

Being Grateful

Being thankful can be difficult especially when we look at the cup that is half empty.
Its so easy to focus on the what might have beings, than on what was and what actually is right now.

Being grateful doesn't come easy, especially during the most trying and difficult times of our lives, because our focus is on our situation and to be honest even when we give God thanks in the mist of it all, it is with a heavy heart, and sometimes not to appear ungrateful, kind of out of duty and not out of a heart that is truly grateful in spite of the odds!


So in the spirit of thanksgiving!

I am truly grateful in the mist of it all,
despite the odds, amidst the tears and the disappointments, in spite of the pain,
Lord I am grateful,
Grateful for the life you've given us,
Grateful for health, job, family and friends
We am not improvised,
nor destitute
for food, clothing and shelter.
You've blessed us beyond our wildest dreams and for this
We are grateful.

Down through the path ways of life I wander
through the shadows of doubt and fear I tread
littered down this road are tears,
which serves as reminders of my dreads

down the path way of desires I stare
wondering amidst the clouds of pain
and through the mist of gloom
when desires will be come real and
and that which is hoped for within reach.

Down the path I walk on, for ahead looms the goal
within reached amidst the fits
and I as wander on in fear,
I feel his touch and his presence assured
urging me on, for the my dawn is near!

Rina!


and hi

God's Faithfulness

He's been faithful to me,
When my heart felt faint
'cos the wait felt long
He's remain faithful

He's been faithful to me
When the tears just won't stop
and the rain fell quick in torrential pour

He's been faithful to me
When in doubt I felt still
and my knees just won't bend

He's been faithful to me
Through out the years and in spite of my fears,
Through the changing gears of life
He's remain faithful to me.

Rina