Tuesday, 16 March 2010


The other day I rambled on and on.
Thanks to all those who left comments of encouragements, they meant a lot.

Mother's day went without any event. I hate receiving cards or calls of encouragement. In a way I was dreading the day because I knew my friends and family will call or text a happy mother's day message. I was secretly hoping they won't remember me. I know they mean well but really I don't mind not getting a greeting, I hate being patronised for anyone to thinking I am at home sulking, cause I wasn't.
I was fine on the day really, happy and relaxed. Church was great, we had a special programme and it was really nice to be around so many women of faith.

And as I wished, I received only 3 text messages, from people who really mean a lot to me, trying friends too.
I felt bad that I didn't think to send them text on the day. Here I was thinking only of myself and forgetting other's who would have loved a call of encouragement. I repented and asked God to grant all those waiting their heart's desire by next mother's day.
My God daughter, (bless her) called me at 7.00 am to wish me happy mother's day. I was still sleeping but her message was so sweet. At 5 years of age I am not sure she understood what she was wishing me, but it meant the world to me.

To all those who didn't have a son or daughter of their own to wish them happy Mother's day.
I pray that the good Lord will grant you your heart's desires to be mums and to have your own little burden of Joy by this time Next year.

Happy belated Mother's Day.


Saturday, 6 March 2010

Still Waiting

My emotions were sky high during my last flow. I felt like this year is progressing so quickly with no sign of me being pregnant. I have been praying more along this line and specifically asking God to make me pregnant again soon.

Sometimes I wonder it this is the right way to pray. I've tried all forms of praying and believing and just wonder what the problem is. I'll like to try another IVF but finances are limited. I know deep down that God will do it, but it's a question of when.

My flows are getting better and are more regular than they've been for years. I am positive that God will hear and answer, but when Lord?
My husband, bless him has been encouraging saying we should just enjoy our lives without kids, that he won't love me any less, that is not the point, I just want God's word to be fulfilled in our home.

I have so many things I want to do with our kids, I want to stay at home and bake, cook and clean, I want to run around in the garden with then.
I want to go for long walks with my baby in the pram and wave at other mums.
I want to take time off work and just enjoy being a mum.
I will love every moment of motherhood I promise,
I will welcome the sleepless nights, the endless cries, and whatever else comes with being a mum, but until then, Lord, I am still waiting.

Today the 12 April brings back memories of this post written on the 6 March 2010.

Today I am a mum of 2 young girls.
Today, I have  enjoyed all of the things I wanted to do as mum 6 years ago.
I run around the garden with my two girls.
I bake with them,
I did go for long walks on with my baby and wave at other mums
I took over 2 years off work to be a mum and enjoyed every minute of that
I had lots of sleepless nights and didn't complain.

Today I am no longer waiting.

Your story may still be one of waiting, but tomorrow your story may change.
Your captivity may turn to your
Your day of motherhood will come
Till then
Wait, in joy, abound in hope, be still.

Open Hearts

Open Hearts
In Gratitude