Help Lord, I don’t know what to do. I am in a place where I desire to leave, but there appears to be no way out. I know you’ve promised a way of escape in every trial and tribulation. But the longer I go through the trial of infertility the longer it seems that there is no way out.
I still love and will always love you, but I feel like I am drained of all energy to pray and ask. I feel like asking you for the same thing over and over again, diminish what you are.
I feel fear, not fear of not having a child of my own but fear that we’ll travel this road for a long time before you’ll come through for us. Is that the case Lord? Is it wrong to want you to do it now for us, by this time next year to be holding our own child? Is it wrong to give you a time frame?
The reason I feel this way is because I am looking at time, thinking I am getting older, but I remember you are ageless and operates outside time and will bring to pass our hearts need for a child regardless of age. But Lord, I don’t want to be 40 before having a child, MINE will be 58! Can I ask that, can I ask that you do it for us now! Am I allowed to ask that? Or is that lack of faith? I don’t know Lord. You know.
I feel left behind by friends and family who get pregnant before they start trying.
I feel like a pawn in your hand which you can do as you wish, I also know that you are my father a God of love who will not forsake or leave me. I know THAT Lord.
But I also feel alone, I focus on you and your power, but I also can’t help wondering why it’s taking you this long to do it.
Another reason is what I see happening around, even young mums are tired bringing up their new born, the sleepless nights, the cries, the nappy changes etc. How much more me, but then again I remember you are our strength. You said they that wait upon shall renew their strength. I know too that you will renew our strength for parenthood. I just want to see you high and lifted up in this situation.
I felt this way yesterday and told my father how I feel.
Today he encouraged me with my “Our Daily Bread” Gal 4:4.
“When the fullness of time had come, God send his Son”.
It reminded me that God’s time is perfect, though I want to have it now, though I don’t want to be 40 and my husband 58 to have kids, one thing he assured me is that he is never a day late or early, he is always just on time.
In his perfect timing he gave us his Son, when the world desperately needed a saviour he came through for us. He is still the same God, I look up to him and my countenance was enlightened.
So whenever you feel like time is passing by, that the hand of the clock is ticking and counting down, and it seems like your egg store is rapidly diminishing, remember the one who creates time can stop time for your sake and bring your heart felt desires to pass in perfect time!
4 comments:
first time commenting here - navigated from light-her-lamp.
Hmmmm, This prayer... wow.. I feel you on this one,and I am sure God read and heard you too :-)
when you wrote:
"I feel left behind by friends and family who get pregnant before they start trying.".....
I could say the same thing.. and I could say it as thus:
"I feel totally left behind when friends are pairing up, finding 'the one' without even looking, becoming one and starting that life journey together..."
But, you have said it, God is the same God of yesterday, today and tomorrow, He is constant and continous in His faithfulness and goodness. If we humans, know how to give good gifts to our children, how much more so, God.
It is hard, but I encourage you to look and focus at God's character. His character is full of goodness. He does not do good. HE IS GOOD. Without him there is no good. So cus He is ALWAYS good, He will grant that desire of your heart, when the time is right and perfect.
Also, from testimonies of those close to me, when we are believing God for something as prominent as this, it helps to physically do something to affirm and hold on to our believe that He will do it.
For the child you are expecting, if need be and if you can, move into a bigger place, creating room for the child's imminenbt presence. If you can't move physically, then re-arrange areas within the house to make room where you are. You are confirming in your spirit and backing it up with your actions that your gift is on it's way.
You could also do things like start a savings account for the child. you can call it child maintenance or something like that. It somewhat helps us to keep our focus and hope on God's word and His promises, when we engage in physical activities to further declare it...and soon enough, God will establish it.
It is well... keep on declaring His goodness and He will grant you the desires of your heart.
Have a blessed week.
first time here, and all i feel like doing now is to wrap my hands around you and tell you "how precious his love towards us" I have never travelled this road before, but I know it hurts to wait and to wait and wait. yet in all of this,,,,God is still God.
***hugs***
Remember Hannah in her prayer for Samuel - her desire was for someone for the Lord. And she was heard.
Thank you for that BEAUTIFUL prayer on my blog!! IT really meant a lot!! God bless you
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